Unheard

Do you ever feel like you aren’t heard? You speak and it’s lost on everyone.

What’s worse is when you normally don’t talk often – then when you finally do speak, the words come out but no one responds. When doesn’t everyone have a voice and deserve to be heard.

You don’t mean to dramatize the situation, You’re not being oppressed. You just know your words aren’t being heard. You’d think that would frustrate you to the point of talking louder, but it dointrovertesn’t. Instead you just stop talking. Why speak when no one will listen.

You can only last so long by not speaking, because the worst thing happens when you stop talking. You are stuck in your head.

Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? I guess I’m not important enough to them to hear me? You feel like you are banging your head against a hypothetical wall. What do I say that makes them not want to hear my thoughts?

After you question yourself, tear yourself and every scenario apart – you’re exhausted. You introvert further to the point that even saying “Hello” is just too much, so you say it quietly and move on. Worst case scenario I’ve been in, your job requires you to be friendly and it feels like you are tearing yourself apart yet again to talk to others. You curl yourself up in your introversion blanket so tight to protect yourself, because you hurt and want to keep others from hurting you more.

“Being heard and understood is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.” -Richard Carlson

Until you realize that you hear yourself – to you, your opinion matters. Then you realize the people who truly value you do actually listen. The ones who don’t – you remove or put distance between them and you. Are they really worth your effort in the end?

Goals, Where Do they Go?

Growing up I heard the following quote from my Mom many times:

“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

For every animal lover out there (I myself am one) I am speaking of a hypothetical elephant. This quote, as well as what most of what my Mom says, is very true. However, it had me thinking. If you follow the advice, you will eventually achieve your task or what you set out to do.

But whatever happens to the task and goals we never accomplish?

When I take on a task, it becomes a personal part of my life. How then can a task or goal just be dropped or forgotten? Classic example: New Year’s Resolution! We all have them or set them – do we really ever keep them all year long? Highly unlikely, if you do then you are lying or you have insane self-control. If the latter is the case, please teach me your ways!

Where do they all go? Do our brains just push them deep into our self-conscience to not be thought of again?

Of course, until that one night you can’t sleep and your brain decides that just in that moment you should remember all your uncompleted tasks and failures. When shouldn’t we be counting sheep?

Featured photo credit: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/goals-are-dreams-with-deadlines-lynell-withers.html

Path or Abyss

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http://alexiuss.deviantart.com/art/The-Abyss-333599379

Your path in life, all you have to do is find it. Easy right?

Not hardly. We start as early as when we can comprehend the fact that we can become anything. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Then the abyss sucks you in.

It only gets worse as we grow older – in high school – “where will you go to college?” Then you study and struggle to make the highest grade on your ACT to get into the college that surely has to ensure your future.

Then you get to college, now what? Here it’s definitely all on you- “What’s our focus? What do you want to do with that degree?” Once again, the all to familiar pressure comes crashing in like a wave onto a uncertain shore.

Congratulations! You made it, you picked a major and got that degree. Everything should be set, you did it! Wrong again! Oh, the journey has only begun. Now you interview. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?”t?

My generation is all about more, yes we reach that 10 year “goal.” Fantastic! You know what is next? You guessed it! Right back into that abyss- vicious cycle?

Dreams to worry to choosing

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Have you ever dreamed and wanted something so much that when you have it or find it, you realize that reaching the dream opens up a whole new set of dreams and worries.
Plus, how do you pick the right option when both seem to be the right one. Do you ever wonder: what if I took that job instead of this one? What if I went to this college and not that one?
So you logically pick one. Even so, do you ever wonder what your life would have been like picking the other. Not necessarily if life would have been better- not discontentment. More of wondering the possibilities that you will not know now because of your choice.

Henry: “Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?”
Leonardo da Vinci: “As a matter of fact, I do.”
Henry: “Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you’re supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you’re too distracted to notice?”
Leonardo da Vinci: “You learn to pay attention.”
Henry: “Then let’s say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you’re supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be? -EverAfter

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Growing Up

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Growing up is tough.. the decisions, the anxiety, the pull to be popular then realizing popularity means nothing. Trying to figure out who you are, where you are going, what your future will be. And that’s just high school. You know when people ask you — if you could go back to a time in your life, when would that be? That would definitely NOT be high school.

Looking back on my life now, I realize how much pressure is put on us. Deciding what college, picking a major, and then the killer… Finding a career. 

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That is the stage that I am currently at. I remember through college I kept thinking, this will all be worth it when I graduate and have a job. Yes, silly me. Our Economy isn’t helping. Now that I have received job offers — the tough part is here.. Which one? 

Do I go with more money? Or a job that I may like better but pays less? Plus how do I know if I really truly like it and enjoy it till I’m in the job…

My conclusion is…. life is stressful. At all stages. I’m sure once I have my career I’ll be stressed or concerned about doing my absolute best. 

Oh, to be a kid again………

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Open minds

Every generation has change, we all have different views than the one before. All generations believe they are smarter than the last. All the past generations believe they are smarter than the new generation. But why?

True, older generations have lived longer – they have experienced more. However, newer generations sense things and learn faster. Why do the generations not coincide well?

One generation will blame the other for the reason: Oh, they are young. They won’t listen, I’ll bore them. Or: They don’t trust me because they think I don’t understand because I’m too young.

Why is it that we can’t listen and understand each other? Are we too self-absorbed to see another’s perspective?

 

Fortuitous

Is life all about luck? Or is there a plan for everyone and everything? Image

What if, last minute you decide to turn right instead of left… Where you meant to go left or maybe you were meant to go right all along?

Years ago, I was already late leaving for class. I was in my car, driving through my neighborhood, listening to traffic reports; when I realized with dread that I had left a specific folder for this class at home. In frustration I turn my car around, rush back to my house, retrieve the folder and try round two of leaving for class. I hear on the radio, that there had been an accident on a major highway just a few minutes ago — the same highway I would have been on and right around the same time I would have been on it.

Was this fortuitous? Did this happen by chance, a mere accident or perhaps just my forgetfulness. Would that have been me in the accident…

In our lives we plan and we follow that plan as closely as we can. But there are always factors, maybe fate or just luck, that deter us from our plan.

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Some believe God controls everything — I believe we are not pawns in a game that God is playing. I believe that God gives all of us guidelines/rules to follow for our good because He loves us. Does that mean that God wants you to turn right instead of left? No, He gave us free-will, we choose to listen or not to. But that doesn’t mean if I choose left and you choose right, then therefore you are wrong. 

But is there really “the one” we are supposed to marry — Is there one specific person out there for everyone? If that’s true, then what about divorces? Was your first wife “the one” or is the second wife “the one”

“The one” is a fairytale. It’s a disney-like notion. That Prince Charming is out there just waiting for you. Or the perfect woman is out there waiting. NOT TRUE.  No one on earth is perfect. 

If you search for perfection in a spouse, friend, anyone, anything you will be solely disappointed every time.

When you love someone, you love them for their imperfections and their perfections — that’s who that person is. Does your soulmate exist? Is this the job I’m meant to have? Was I meant to die in that car accident?